Freitag, 22. August 2014
Why letting go always means gaining something new
linas, 15:34h
I am not good in letting go – especially with people. Why? Because if I let people step into my life, they mean something to me. It doesn't mean they have to be loved ones, but there is always a reason, why I attach to them. They can be great colleagues, friends, neighbors… I appreciate them for something special, they bring with them. New attitudes, hobbies, recipes… There is always something new and interesting and if it clicks and I open up, I don’t want to lose them again. Same with plans: when I have been investing my time and passion- why to give up if the target is in sight?
And of course with a partner, it is even worse. The “one” is my home, my best friend, my love affair, part of my past, present and – what I thought- future. How to tell a heart, that the one who is no longer the future, was just a present on loan? Where all the bonding, that happened over years, is suddenly frozen, fading away? That all the dreams, dreamed together, become an illusion- never reality? That all the feelings, time, efforts invested are no longer valid? Going through grief is a nightmare. Even with great friends and family- you are always the one to feel the sadness, disappointment, loneliness, anger. This is something no one can take away from you. I for my part- if there was a business offer to take over the hurt feelings part – would pay a lot of money to avoid it!
But the good news is: in the moment you start to let go (what doesn’t automatically mean you no longer grief), you are opening up to something new. Everything you have been holding on for means as well you haven’t had your hands, mind or heart free to receive something else. I was always too busy with my daily life agenda, to even re-consider my plans, my actions, other options. And now, there is suddenly (of course forced) a million options, what to do in the future. First it is intimidating- so much open space, the lost path. But suddenly, it starts to become interesting and fun. Time to reconsider personal plans, behaviors, dreams. And to open up for new experiences. You cannot plan it, it is just something that is happening when you expect it the least. While you are still hanging on the past, there are suddenly again first bright moments of happiness, that make you believe in a happy future. You are becoming curious on new ideas that might be totally different from what you have been valuing so far. And I guess this is the way of healing, re-gaining curiosity in life. So for me at least, this is simply wonderful and unbelievably calming- that an end means a new beginning and new beginnings equal new ideas, new energy, excitement and surprises. Bring it on!
And of course with a partner, it is even worse. The “one” is my home, my best friend, my love affair, part of my past, present and – what I thought- future. How to tell a heart, that the one who is no longer the future, was just a present on loan? Where all the bonding, that happened over years, is suddenly frozen, fading away? That all the dreams, dreamed together, become an illusion- never reality? That all the feelings, time, efforts invested are no longer valid? Going through grief is a nightmare. Even with great friends and family- you are always the one to feel the sadness, disappointment, loneliness, anger. This is something no one can take away from you. I for my part- if there was a business offer to take over the hurt feelings part – would pay a lot of money to avoid it!
But the good news is: in the moment you start to let go (what doesn’t automatically mean you no longer grief), you are opening up to something new. Everything you have been holding on for means as well you haven’t had your hands, mind or heart free to receive something else. I was always too busy with my daily life agenda, to even re-consider my plans, my actions, other options. And now, there is suddenly (of course forced) a million options, what to do in the future. First it is intimidating- so much open space, the lost path. But suddenly, it starts to become interesting and fun. Time to reconsider personal plans, behaviors, dreams. And to open up for new experiences. You cannot plan it, it is just something that is happening when you expect it the least. While you are still hanging on the past, there are suddenly again first bright moments of happiness, that make you believe in a happy future. You are becoming curious on new ideas that might be totally different from what you have been valuing so far. And I guess this is the way of healing, re-gaining curiosity in life. So for me at least, this is simply wonderful and unbelievably calming- that an end means a new beginning and new beginnings equal new ideas, new energy, excitement and surprises. Bring it on!
... comment
